Cutting the Bands Wages
Alarmed by his tax bill and the cost of an oversized orchestra, Phil is pressured to cut expenses and wages, putting him at odds with the musicians who depend on…
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Alarmed by his tax bill and the cost of an oversized orchestra, Phil is pressured to cut expenses and wages, putting him at odds with the musicians who depend on…
Worried about his future, Phil decides his young daughters should become professional singers and support him, turning the family into his latest misguided show-business project.
When Phyllis wants an expensive toy pony for her birthday, Phil is eager to indulge her while Alice objects to the price and Frankie's peculiar gift ideas make matters worse.
After William volunteers a pint of Phil's blood to the Red Cross, Phil invents increasingly absurd excuses to avoid donating and turns a simple good deed into a comic ordeal.
After mocking Alice's complaints about household expenses, Phil accepts her challenge to do the grocery shopping himself on a tiny budget and learns how unrealistic his ideas about prices really…
Old scrapbooks and courtship letters raise an alarming question about whether Phil and Alice's marriage was ever made fully legal, sending the couple back through the details of their wedding.
After proving hopeless at first-aid practice, Phil and Frankie are steered toward something they can actually contribute: entertaining soldiers at an Army camp for the USO.
Phil cannot stop bragging about his golf-tournament triumph, then breaks one of Alice's prized vases while reenacting the winning putt and creates a new problem at home.
More than a year after his last movie, Phil sits by the telephone waiting for Darryl Zanuck to offer another role and refuses to consider that Hollywood may not be…
Determined to prove he can act seriously, Phil converts the comedy show into a drama and stages his own male version of All About Eve, with predictably ridiculous results.
Spring fever makes Phil desperate for a few days of freedom, so he and Remley fake a nervous breakdown to escape, only to end up stealing what turns out to…
The Harrises return from Easter services expecting a family dinner, but Frankie Remley's involvement turns the holiday meal into another round of domestic comedy.
After an RCA executive tells Phil his recent records are selling poorly, Phil and Frankie decide the answer is to find or create the perfect novelty song themselves.
Mr. Scott investigates unauthorized commercials on Phil's show and discovers Frankie has been posing as an RCA executive, drawing Phil into a scheme involving the company's television sets.
Alice secretly applies for Phil to join an exclusive Beverly Hills country club, and Phil's contempt for the 'stuffed shirts' quickly changes once the prestige of membership sinks in.
An emergency meeting with sponsor Mr. Scott forces Phil and Alice to confront the band about its behavior and quality, but the musicians respond to Alice's attempt at discipline with…
Phil's daughters want to enter a local beautiful-child contest, and Phil's own boastful memories of being a prize-winning baby encourage him to take the competition far too seriously.
Phil and Frankie decide to build a vacation trailer after their travel plans keep changing, only to construct one from coffin blueprints and send it rolling downhill into the Harris…
At Mr. Scott's Mother's Day celebration, Phil and Alice compare their own mothers while Frankie's lack of a proper Mother's Day connection leads to an unusual hired-mother arrangement.
After landing a movie role as an Air Force flying sergeant, Phil boasts about his screen heroics even though Frankie knows his fear of actual flying and the tricks used…
Phil's future hangs on an RCA Victor board vote over renewing his contract, leaving him increasingly anxious as the decision is delayed.
As the show returns from summer hiatus, Phil is still physically bent from a vacation injury and immediately faces new trouble with the musicians' union.
The morning after a chaotic costume party, the household is stunned when young Julius announces that he wants to get married and seeks the adults' help with his romantic plans.
Determined to impress a television executive, Phil resists an eye exam and accidentally overuses dilating drops, leaving him and Remley nearly blind just as important dinner guests arrive.
Phil volunteers to conduct a school orchestra for a PTA concert and discovers that controlling a roomful of unruly children is even harder than leading his own band.
Phil and Alice dramatize their life stories for listeners, but the supposedly factual biography is repeatedly interrupted by Phil correcting dates and embellishing his own past.
When Phil needs a large sum of money, Frankie proposes that he invest in a business opportunity instead, drawing both men into another dubious get-rich scheme.
William proudly donates blood and volunteers Phil to do the same, sending Phil into a panic as he invents excuse after excuse to avoid the Red Cross needle.
Longing for the excitement of live audiences, Phil agrees to take part in a USC college benefit and sees it as a chance to recapture the thrill of his vaudeville…
Proud of his supposed Native American ancestry, Phil embraces a string of exaggerated tribal rituals and becomes especially interested when he believes that ancestry may exempt him from income tax.
Frankie lands a television sponsor and secretly signs Alice as his glamorous co-star, prompting Phil to sabotage the deal by presenting a deep-sea diver as Alice's supposed replacement.
Phil and Remley secretly open Mr. Scott's expensive antique Christmas clock, damage it while snooping, and make increasingly frantic repairs before Alice reveals she has bought the troublesome clock herself.
Exhausted Phil wants nothing more than his favorite easy chair, but a talkative new neighbor criticizes it and sets off a household campaign to get rid of his treasured seat.
During last-minute department-store shopping, Phil's sarcastic encounter with Santa is followed by a more serious holiday problem when the family's Christmas presents are stolen.
Phil insists the family should see the Tournament of Roses Parade in person, then discovers that actually obtaining tickets is far harder than boasting about the experience.
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